Notes on the AI romance vs Human romance debate
Quick Context: The youtube channel "Open to Debate" hosted a debate between two academics in a comedy cellar club in NYC. The full topic was as follows: "Could Dating an Al Be Better Than Dating a Human?"
I was there irl and while I learned a lot from the academics invited in how they described their research on attachment, human connection and the utilization of fake sentience from AI in order to foster healthier behavior in humans. I came away disappointed as neither side wanted to explore the growing potential this technology has in cementing the hyper-individualist way of being in the modern world. Where more and more people praise and idolize the notion of forever living the single life and never compromising yourself to find a partner as that seems lesser than preserving your individuality.
I recommend the video itself as it's very informative in showcasing how academics are approaching this growing trend in people depending on AI chatbots for emotional and sometimes romantic support. One side brings up the usecase of teenagers engaging with romantic AI as a form of "practice" or "test run" whereas the other rejects this as anything practical to prepare said teenagers for the real thing with humans. Link to original video here
What's more fascinating to me is reading and hearing the stories of men and women who've essentially become isolated in our modern landscape. They have no friends, they don't get along with their coworkers, they find no value in themselves and therefore see no point in even trying to connect with humans. Very few of these people identify themselves as "incels" or "losers," rather they just understand they're outside the norm and desperately claw for anything to soothe and answer their emotional pain. It just happens the biggest source of help and comfort has been the AI chatbots. The awareness among groups like this range from a fun little delusion to cope with life vs the radical few who are fully bought in with their AI partners. You can read posts from them explicitly devaluing human connections, claiming that since humans can lie, cheat and grow away from you, that makes human connections something inherently more volatile and dangerous than the AI chatbot. There's room to criticize this view but seeing people sincerely hold this view reminds me of the characters in "Brave New world", the people who explore past their "utopia" to see native tribes, non technological ways of living and still decide their dystopia is preferable. Better the devil you know than the one you don't. Seeing these changes in social behavior and norms online makes me wonder if there's some wider dynamic going on with a name I've yet to see. Something distinct from consumerism, capitalism, or even the human condition. Something with the way we develop and relate to our technology that capitalizes on, reinforces and then enhances our worst tendencies, wanting safety at the cost of growth and danger, wanting affirmation at the cost of truth, wanting artificial "connection" in place of human loneliness.
It's a brave new world out there, and nobody's ready for it.